trouble

I dreamt about trouble all night. Over and over again. Each time, I was trying to manage to see him, and each dream was begun and ended with the most trivial of activities.

The time I remember most is that I was at a park of some kind, there was a lot of people that he knew there. I wanted to take him home, but he said he couldn’t, because there were lots of things he had to think about. For instance, it had been raining a lot and my driveway was all muddy, and she would wonder where the mud came from. He wanted me to meet him after the event (I believe softball or something) and we could sit in his truck. It was parked amongst all kinds of trucks and campers. I told him I had no interest in trying to have sex in a truck. He then said that I could just meet him and we’d talk tonight, and then he’d come over to my place tomorrow because it would have dried by then. It seemed like a desperation tactic. I wasn’t impressed. I told him to text me when he was done, and we’d see. I went to a grocery store and got some ice cream and went home. I got the text, and he said he was just going home.

List of random memories from last night’s dreams:

**Shopping with my mother in a weird store, where we had to climb shelves to find the things we were looking for. I looked at stones and a keyboard for the son.

**Living in a big house with an infinity pool in the back. It was beautiful. My family lived there, and they had not saved for the purchase, they just kind of lucked into it. I remember feeling the breeze coming off the ocean in the back by the pool.

**Sleeping in a room with lots of men. I was part of a resistance cell, and I was sort of kidnapped into it. Part of the deal was that I had to service the men of the group. I was more than happy to service the first few that started the group, but as they added members, I was expected to move around more. I didn’t really want to, not because it was against my will or anything, but because I liked having the ones I’d already had. It was hard for me to remember who I was supposed to be with each night

**Big, drafty, abandoned buildings, with a freight elevator. I was moving amongst the buildings, and then was trying to get ready to celebrate new years with my friends. I found a mac counter in the upstairs, and was trying to find a sparkly red eye shadow. I was embarrassed to be there, because the MAC people looked at me funny. I felt unworthy and too poor to buy the stuff. I found a Mary Roach book on tape, and wanted to keep it, but I turned it in as lost. Then I worked at the toy store across the mall, and I had to use their bathroom, and I was embarrassed to be there again. It was like high school.

**I was staying at Dan Savage’s house, we had a big party, I ended up naked and sleeping in his bed, much to both of our chagrin the next morning. He teased me about it, but I knew he had enjoyed it. We teased back and forth for a while, and then I found my clothes and went home

**I called into work. The kids were home with me. We were going to watch the home improvement channel, because we were living in a drafty house that needed repairs, but the channel was broken

**I took the kids to a locally owned toy store, they were having an event, the kids had to find a picture or han solo figure in the store. The kids were running around looking, but the owner of the store had gathered up all of the han solo merchandise and pics, and was carrying them himself. He’d also hired goons to protect the stuff so that no one could win. I called them @ssholes and left.